Love

This, just to warn you, will most likely be a sappy post.  

I spent this last weekend celebrating the marriage of my dear friend Tricia, to Aaron, a wonderful man who is so perfectly suited to Tricia, I know only God could have fit them together.  At their wedding I read a poem from an old book of poetry that belonged to Tricia's grandpa.  The poem is so beautiful, I tear up every time I read it.  Many people at the wedding told me that they did the same.  My new friend Meghana, one of the bridesmaids, told me after the ceremony that she couldn't even glance in her husband's direction the entire time I was reading because she found the poem so moving.  Here it is: 

“Love” 

by Roy Croft

I love you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.
I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.
I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can’t help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find.
I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple;
Out of the works
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.
I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.
You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.
You have done it
By being yourself.
Perhaps that is what
love means,
After all.

Tricia and Aaron changed the wording at the end a little, and I reflected that change here.  I like it better (No offense to Mr. Croft).  

This poem makes me think of A because I think it describes perfectly how I feel about him.  I love him because of the wonderful man that he is, his strength of character, his patience, his work ethic, his motivation, his sense of humor... I could go on forever.  But I also love him for the woman he is helping me to be.  He makes me good, he makes me laugh, he teaches me patience, he teaches me about sacrifice, about selflessness, about humbleness and about love because he embodies all these things.  He has made of my sad, empty life a song.  He is helping me to build something useful out of the great big scrap heap my life used to be.  He took the time to see past my white middle-class incompatibilities to the girl I am underneath, and he loves her.  And that makes me love her too.  And love him even more.  

So there - I warned you it would be sappy.  But this weekend left me in a sappy kind of mood.  And I just wanted to tell the world how grateful I am to be living wheel life with A. 

God is the Other Goose

My dear "Sister-by-choice", Andrea, got married on Friday night at a beautiful ceremony under a tent in Washington, MO.  She was, of course, gorgeous in a dress fit for the (Disney) princess that she is :)  
Now I'll admit - I love a good wedding as much as any girl who has been planning her own wedding since she was 10.  But it was slightly hot and humid outside, and my mind was tending to wander during this lovely event. (Sorry sis, but its true!) However, when the officiant began talking about geese, I started listening.  Wait a minute - did I miss something?  What is this about geese?  Isn't this a wedding?...  
Tuning back in, here's what the pastor was saying - 
Geese always fly in a flock.  They create a routine - they fly south for winter, come back north in summer.  They fly the same route every year, often stopping at the same places season after season.  As they fly in their famous "V" formation, the geese in the back honk at the geese in the front, encouraging them on.  Point #1 - in your marriage, it is important to always fly together, staying on the same side, and to always communicate with each other, "honking" encouragement at each other through the tough times.  Ok... he really had my attention now.  

Moving on with this analogy, the pastor began talking about what happens when a goose gets injured or sick and must separate from the rest of the group.  Geese fly by a strict "no man left behind" philosophy.  If one goose falls back, two other geese always join it, and stay with it until it is ready to catch up to the rest of the flock.  Now, the pastor made a point of saying that geese mate for life, and one of the two geese that stay behind with the injured goose is almost always its mate.  But who is the lucky goose that gets to play third wheel to this happy couple?  Point #2 - Now, of course the whole "mate-for-life" scenario is a point.  Marriage is intended by our great Father to last forever.  And its supposed to be hard work, but to also be rewarding.  We, as the geese in nature, are also supposed to mate for life.  But that is not what I found so moving about this scenario.  
Moving on to point #3 - Now that third goose might just be the male goose's best friend, or the wifey goose's mama, but in the great analogy that the pastor drew, he made this connection - GOD is the third goose.  When your marriage faces tough times and one or both of you have to fall back, you're never left alone.  There is always that third goose there, watching over you, encouraging you to get well and get back in the flight.  God is an integral part of any marriage, and without Him, most marriages are doomed to failure.  

That analogy (surprisingly enough) really spoke to my heart.  Even though I spent Friday evening celebrating Andrea and Jon, Friday during the day I spent celebrating a year with A.  It hasn't been easy, and anyone who knows our situation knows that it won't get any easier, but I'm beginning to fully realize how important it is for us to find ourselves a Christian community to get involved with.  Because when it comes down to it, no matter how much we love each other, no matter how much I enjoy his company and we make each other laugh, without a firm foundation, we WILL fail.  So.... I'm making a promise to myself to put more effort into finding us a place to belong.  
I guess I should thank Andrea, Jon, and their pastor for this epiphany.  And I know I'll never look at geese flying in formation without being reminded of that happy goose couple and their third wheel.  God, the other goose.