Today was my day off. There were several things I could have done today, but instead I decided to sit down and read a few of the Real Simple magazines that tend to pile up around my house. I wanted to relax, find some recipes that I thought I might actually use, and read some articles. Reading Real Simple always makes me think of two people - my mom, and my Aunt Goody. For Valentine's Day in 2007, my mom got me a subscription to Real Simple as a gift. I was finally an adult, living in Cincinnati all on my own, and Real Simple is the kind of magazine written to help organize the adult life. My mom knew I needed that. :) I did not receive my first issue from that subscription until I returned to Cincinnati after my mom's funeral. I remember sitting on the floor in my apartment holding a package from a friend of a book entitled "Motherless Daughters" in one hand, and holding my first issue of Real Simple, with a tag that said "A gift from Leslie Bruce", in the other hand, and thinking "this is a perfect snapshot of before and after." That year, every month, I got a gift in the mail from my mommy. It never failed to make me cry, but it also was so comforting to me. But when the year ended, I couldn't bring myself to renew my subscription myself, no matter how sad I was to see it end. So my dear Aunt Goody, who loves Real Simple almost as much as she loves me and loved my mom, renewed the subscription for me. And has continued to do that for me each year since. I'm not sure she will ever really realize how much that means to me.
So today was a day of enriching my life. I read some really great articles, and found some recipes that I'm going to make A eat and critique. I learned useless facts that I found fascinating, and in general renewed my spirit. And there, on almost every page, I found my mom. In the article on de-stressing that suggests regularly drinking black tea to induce feelings of relaxation. In the suggestion that half of the fun of shopping was seeking out the deals, bringing them home, and showing them off (Antiquing, anyone?). And in the article on loss that reminded me that its ok to still have days like this one.
I thinking about my mom I began thinking about who I am today and how she would feel about it. I like to think that I'm making her proud. I'm a bit of a mess these days, but I'm finding a direction that I have peace with, and I think that would make her happy. I know myself better and am working towards becoming a woman who is a good friend and good citizen. I love a man who loves me back, and I think my mom would be able to see past the (somewhat unexpected) package that he comes in to the glow that he gives me, the happiness and fulfillment he has brought to my life. I like to think that my happiness is what mattered most to her.
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